google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: 2015

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Ultra ... Ridiculous

It's true. I'm ultra ridiculous.
Since my last post, I have followed through with the ultimate way to torture my body, and it wasn't acupuncture.
I ran a marathon.
And an ultra marathon.
People already think your a paddock short of a few cows when you tell them that you're going to compete in a marathon; 42.2km of non-stop running complete with thoughts of 'my legs are about to fall off', and 'I really, really need a poo'.
But I did it. I stowed away negative thoughts as well as the extra piece of peanut butter on toast I hadn't planned on eating that morning and ran my little heart out.
With an impressive time for a newbie of 4 hours and 11 minutes, I felt slightly invincible and opted to sign up for an ultra marathon directly after I'd crossed the finish line. Pumped with adrenaline, I didn't really consider what running 64km through bush terrain might ultimately mean. But alas, as of this weekend past, I completed the last of my running challenges for the year and have a medal and four buggered toenails to show for it.
I am sore and I am attempting not to complain to every passing person with ears, but I'm also very proud of my accomplishments. I'm 33, I can pee all by myself, cross the road without holding mum's hand, and now I can run for no other reason at all other than I've been secretly training for the zombie apocalypse.
I have absolutely no idea what the rest of the month will hold, though I suspect there's going to be some mass peanut butter consumption and a few wild nights on the chocolate to balance out all this 'healthy' clean living I've been doing of late.
Peace out.
Keep running. The zombies ARE coming.

Kristy :)

Tuesday, 21 July 2015

As promised I'm back for the monthly tribute to this site, a chance for me to inform those who might be interested (probably very few), and those who are creepy stalkers (you know who you are), with the plethora of nothingness that occurs in my every day life.
Yes, I will regale you with stories of the mundane and trim it up nicely with a bit of wordsmithing so you actually think it might be worth dropping back each month just to see what I'm on about this time.
Today I offer you a simple review of the month that's been.
Well actually, I should probably mention before I get started that despite the fact that I'm a writer, I don't sit with my nose pressed against the LCD of my laptop or wittle away at the keypad until I'm arthritic and a little fat from eating pizza pockets. I actually get out and do things, like sniff fresh air and admire how green grass can be.
In the last six months I've taken up running, not from crazy people with butcher's knives or shopkeepers screaming at me to return their merchandise, but running for pleasure.
Now that doesn't sound right at all, does it?
1. Breathing becomes laboured and the chance of inhaling bugs increases.
2. Boobs tend to assault you with every leap and bound (my nose will never be the same)
3. Weird and wonderful stenches drift from every nether region despite the liberal use of over the counter deoderant.
4. Every pair of underwear finds some way of setting up permanant residence in your butt.
And yet, despite these seemingly depressing reminders of why it's stinky and possibly hazardous to run, I can't seem to stop. In fact, I run away from everything now; monthly blog posts, old boyfriends, chocolate dairy products ...
Anyway, I started running to not only save said expanding butt, but to use the time to think about my writing and where it could head in the future, and yet, do you know what the irony of entering into this new hobby has helped promote with my other passion? Absolutely nothing. I can't bloody think about writing at all. In fact, all I can consider as I pound the pavement, one foot in front of the other, is whether or not my pace is good, my shoelaces tied, and where the next water stop might be.
So now I have two loves in which neither really helps the other, but I suppose since it gave me this month's inspiration, I shouldn't exactly discount the validitity.
Until next time then ...

Monday, 22 June 2015

A comeback?

Apologies to one and all that have once, or still do, follow my blog. I really do hope that none of you sat tapping mild-mannered toes while holding your breath in the hopes that perhaps this lazy author may one day post a blog.
Alas, here it is, but of course, it's under duress. My manager is literally sitting next to me, a sling-shot poised at my temple in the hopes that I will once again entertain and delight people with what he describes as my warped sense of humour. I'm not too sure how successful I'll be with a matchbox car tensioned on a bit of rubber rope only millimeters from the sweet spot. Though, I will give my manager his dues. Not only is he creative enough to threaten my life with Hot-wheels, but he's hoping to inspire a whole new host of readers to this site and hopefully to devour my books ... (Not actually eat them though, I don't think books are a good source of nutrition and the ink will most definitively stain your underwear on the way back out).
Death threats and dietary fiber aside, it's fair to say that I have been more than a little slack at updating this site. A whole host of cool and interesting things went down since I last posted in 2013. I got divorced, figured out the mysteries of where Cabbage Patch dolls actually come from, went on some pretty cool holidays to Borneo, Costa Rica and the United States, hand-reared a unicorn, and shot my neighbour.
Of course, this is not an excuse for my inattention, but it's also not a promise of exciting blogs to come. I seem to find a million ways to fill my days and weekends and its not entirely based on writing. I will try to produce at least one blog per month, but since I generally spend every day of the week that ends in 'day' cow-tipping or chasing small children with a stick, I may sometimes forget.
So here I am ... back for now and apparently free to move around the room again now that the slingshot's been lowered.
Chat soon,

Kristy :)